When Quarantine Feels Like a Forced Meditation Retreat
“It’s like a never-ending, forced meditation retreat.” This analogy is how my clients and I have come to think about quarantine—shorthand for what this strange time has felt like. The removal of many of life’s distractions, being relegated to one place—it’s like a meditation retreat, except forced.
Pema Chodron described this as “being nailed by life, the place where you have no choice except to embrace what’s happening or push it away,” in her book When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times.
In quarantine, we’re all stuck. Nailed to the spot. I don’t know about you, but for myself and my clients, I’m noticing that whatever needs learning or knowing about in our internal worlds and relationships is insisting on being felt and dealt with during this time. At an actual meditation retreat, you can always leave. Chances are you will stick it out - but in your heart you know you chose to be there and you can choose not to. In choice, there is empowerment, and being connected to our agency helps us feel better.
But right now, we can’t leave. We are nailed to the spot.
I heard a yoga teacher once say, “the minute I want to come out of the pose is the minute my practice begins.” The same can be said for sitting in meditation, and for this moment we are all living through.
We are being asked to tolerate some massive discomfort right now. We didn’t sign up for this forced meditation retreat, but here we are. Mindfulness reminds us we still have a choice. Embrace it or push it away.
We can choose to notice the discomfort, to hold it with equanimity. It is not bad or good, it’s just uncomfortable. When we choose to stay in our mindfulness practice, especially when things aren’t how we would like them to be, we seize an opportunity to decide how we will be in relationship with our pain. We open up to a deeper understanding of ourselves and how we suffer. We make a choice, and when we choose, we feel better.
Mindful questions to help you cope during quarantine
I invite you to ask yourself these questions:
What do I notice when I am resisting being nailed to this spot? What emotions come up and what do I do with or about those feelings? Notice if there is a story you tell yourself about why it’s important to resist being right here, right now.
What do I do with discomfort? Do I ignore it, numb it, find a distraction, hate it, notice it, etc.? Do I want to run? Do I tell myself I can’t handle it?
What do I notice when I embrace it? Is there anxiety and/or some relief? What sensations do I notice in my body? What story do I tell myself about what I am feeling and sensing?
As you explore these questions, hold your answers with compassionate curiosity. They are not bad or good, just information we are noticing and becoming mindful about.
There is so much we do not have control over right now, but choosing how we will be in relationship with what is happening is one place we do. Mindfulness meditation is a powerful way to practice this choice, build resilience and find some moments of peace during this difficult time.